"Let Me Show You My Boat."

Let me tell you about my day job.

I'm a secretary.

I log entries into a database. When I've added the whole pile of paperwork, I make one half of an X on two copies. On one, black, on the other, red. When the paperwork is processed, I complete the entry in the database and complete the X, only on the red copy. Then I file the paperwork. I do this all day. Occasionally, I answer the phone. I also set up "high level" meetings, once a month in the summer, once a week in the winter. I listen to Pandora. My stations are "Folked Up," "Radio Radio," "Radio Betsee" and "Jazz Hands." I usually run out of my month of free listening minutes.

I have a much cherished degree in Art Education. See how I capitalized it? It means a lot to me, but doesn't mean much in the real world. If I had the time, I could become an excellent potter. When I went to college, I wanted to be a painter. (I haven't painted in so many years.) Then I thought about majoring in English. (I'm four credits short of a minor degree in writing.) I graduated a capable art teacher. (I quit three months into my first school year.) I think I should have majored in ceramics and cared for the notion that a master's degree is valuable. I guess I could be teaching people how to throw pottery, but I don't think you need a master's degree to do that ... or to do much of anything. I'm a secretary, an assistant to people who went to school longer, make more money, and are less talented at things I consider valuable to the quality of this life.

 

I don't really get to do what I want to do, what I think I could be considerably more successful doing, what would actually expand my mind and my existence. I have some free time, but I don't have many options for changing the grand scheme of things. And while I know this is not limited to just my predicament, I sure do feel alone in it. Buried in bills, buried in responsibilities, buried in expectations, buried in wishes and wants.

Do you feel equipped to succeed in life without really trying? Did anyone ever teach you to really try?