Start Typing

I'm just going to start typing and let some stream of consciousness happen, because I am stifled and suppressed and in need of some form of clarity. I used to pray for clarity and understanding, to at least let go and accept my fate with the certainty that everything was in capable hands. I don't do that so often anymore and I think it has caused a whole mess of trouble mainly because I didn't let go of anything nor did I actually give anything proper consideration. It's easy to let everything (and I mean everything, literally and figuratively) pile up on top of your head until you can't carry on. If I ever felt I was an example of composure, I was wrong, but my heart was in the right place - I was trying. I need to start trying again.

A list of things I love:
coffee with real sugar and powedered creamer
a little coffee for my daughter, with lots of milk
Zelda - the game he wanted me to love and our sweet puppy that taught me patience in new ways
my husband and his committment to us, to me, to what we have and dream of
when my son picks me to sleep by him and I can count the I Love You's he says
Tink - because she was mine, but she is ours and she is all feline
our house - it fell from the sky and made us welcome
Autumn and how the sky changes and I can breathe again
Halloween with these people, my family - my Frankenstein and his mini me and the butterfly
a simple routine -
making it work -
and enjoying it as we should, as we deserve to, and have the right to do so. 
I should be so lucky.

Damn Skippy.