Elliott Wilder Nickens: Part 3

The intensity of pushing, the need to push a living, breathing being out of your body is indescribable. I could see his head crowning. I could hear Kale, my mom, the nurse coaching me to push, push, push. I could sense the end of my pregnancy, the final chapter of it coming to an end, and the beginning of something coming. I didn't want to stop pushing.

The nurse said, "Call Dr. Cambell!" It's time." And she told me to stop. He was there in a matter of moments, with his scrubs and a bag for the placenta. His familiar voice was comforting and I suddenly felt in control of the situation. My body, my baby, and I had come together to say NOW. And in a heartbeat (or two), there he was! Head, shoulders, belly, legs... and a very short umbilical cord. So short, in fact, Kale had to make the cut before Elliott could be placed on my chest. I am not surprised by our closeness and I do consider it that - the short cord and the closeness of our bond. My baby.  

We were together for just a minute or two before he was whisked away to the side for suctioning. He wasn't taking in air deeply enough and was taken to the NICU for monitoring. I was grateful that Kale went along and took video of that time. I remember laying there, pleased, grateful, proud, happy as ever, watching my little bear being taken care of, words from everyone all around but none of it registering.

It seemed like immediately after, my family was ushered in. Time passed and I was able to stand and with the help of a nurse I cleaned myself off (I was surprised that I was able to do this on my own). Somehow giving birth had been easy. EASY.

I am a goddess among men.

My baby Elliott Wilder is healthy, very happy, and the best behaved little bear. We are whole.