She Twinkles

I'm beginning to find reasons to be proud of myself. Taking a tip from myself and my counselor, I am working on small things, fully and completely, before deciding I have failed overall. This means I am focusing on Girl Scouts ahead of time, not the day before, but at least a week in advance and keeping my troop moms informed to keep myself on track. What has this done for me? I am engaged and prepared and excited for Saturday, no longer dreading a miserable time of over criticizing myself for being under prepared and lack luster. Kale and I found some skeleton keys on New Years Day and I crotched chains to hang them as necklaces while fiddling with yarn with Anna. I am putting dishes on the back burner - in fact, I may leave them for Kale. We should take turns. I am preparing to get back on track with finances by looking ahead to what bills can be paid and who needs to take care of what and what can sit and wait. (I need to order checks). I am not letting laundry determine my day. (The dryer is broken.)

I am 17 weeks pregnant and this little bundle is a BOY. In six months, we need to have prepared a space for baby and baby's things. This does not mean that the house has to be overhauled, items purged or burned, rooms painted, or finished. It simply means he needs a space and we need space to be comfortable with someone new in the house. And more so, it may mean that new routines should be laid out. I would like to have help with the dishes - or a dishwasher installed. I would like to have a routine clean-up time each night, where clothes get put in the basket or put away, items get placed back where they belong, and preparation for the next day is made with everyone involved. In doing so, I would hope that space for baby is made within the house and within our schedules. Thinking a little about boundaries has helped me to see when I should say no to myself (very rarely is anyone asking what I do to get done). It is not within my boundaries to be in charge of completely everything - no wonder I keep getting accused of being "half assed." That kills me. I mean, should I wash, dry, and put away every dish that crosses a set of lips? Should I scoop up laundry the second it hits the floor, wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it away before it wrinkles? Is not doing these things half assed, really? What I need to do is lay down, prop my feet up, and be content with baby-making.